And the Hugs Continue

The Free Hugs continue! The sign that I saw last week was put there to help me open my eyes to the hugs that God gives me everyday. Since then, I have been much more aware of God hugging me in many different ways. Sometimes it in the kind words of a co-worker, sometimes it's in the actual hug from my child, sometimes it's in helping me be patient, and sometimes it's even in seeing a beautiful picture or design.

Dakota was sick this weekend with tummy flu (read urp!) and allergies (read random hives). But through it all, she gave me lots of hugs. And it's even better when she says "Momma hugs" when she does it. Today we thanked God together (ok, so I did most of the talking) for His giving us to each other.

Yes, the hugs continue............

"Free Hugs"

Everything fell together the way it was supposed to so I could see this one sign. Dakota and I were going for a nap drive on Sunday. I pulled in the shopping center to get a soda for the drive. I didn't turn one way to get to Jack in the Box because a car was blocking the way, so I had to go straight. And there she sat. A sweet looking woman, probably in her 50's, sitting in a lawn chair on the corner holding a sign. "Free Hugs"

The sign made my day. It gave me hope. It reminded me that people do care. Here was this woman spending time on a Sunday offering hope to complete strangers. I went through the drive thru, got my soda, and purposely drove by her again. I rolled down my window and thanked her for making me smile. "You're very welcome" she said with a warm smile.

As I drove for the next hour my thoughts kept returning to the woman and her sign. I know God used her to reach me and wonder how many others He touched through her. He is always there ready to offer free hugs. Anytime of day, any situation, as much as we need. I need to remember this when I'm feeling lonely or struggling to cope.

God is always there ready to give hugs. And if drive the right way on Sundays, there might be a nice woman who is willing too.


**Update** -- Update to my last post: Dakota is still struggling at night time, but I'm not sure it's just the milk. We went to a birthday party that weekend and apparently the entire family who's house we were at ended up with the flu. And the little one that's Dakota's age had the exact same symptoms for two weeks. I think her tummy is getting better.....but getting her to stay in her bed is still our biggest challenge!

What Am I Doing?

I'm starting to think my child doesn't like me. Or my husband. Or our home. Every time we're home, she cries and screams. It's not fun anymore. Everyone is on edge because you can only take a screaming child who is screaming for no reason for so long. Well, I'm sure there's a reason, but she's not sharing.

Is it because she's two? Are her molars coming in? Does she have tummy problems? I think it's yes to all of the above. She gets up 1-2 hours in the middle of the night every night now. She sleeps in her bed half the night and won't go back in. We had to move to a toddler bed, because she figured out how to climb out of the crib. So we bought Elmo sheets and bedding today in an attempt to make bed more "fun" and "likeable".

During the middle of the day she seems to be fairly ok. Four or five o'clock rolls around and it's duck and cover. I want to run away. My husband deals with it worse than I do and ends up behaving just as bad as the two year old. She wants something, you get it, and then she doesn't want it. Either option results in tears and shouts.

We're going through a half gallon of milk every two days because that's the only way I can get her to calm down at night. And at 2 a.m. I'm in survival mode at this point. I know almost all of the Elmo "Potty" video by heart now because it's another cure all.

My husband's convinced that something is wrong because this can't be just from being two or having molars come in. I don't know what to think at this point. All I know is I end up in tears alot. My daughter can be the most precious gift in one moment and ten seconds later I'm ready to UPS her to Michigan to live with her Gram.

Now I'm suspicious of a food allergy. Can a food allergy make a baby go off the deep end? She had a hive on her face tonight. I wondered if it was from her being worked up or a reaction to something. So I frantically put together a tracking sheet to monitor food, sleep, meds and behavior to see if I could notice any patterns.

Ha! She literally just spend a half hour rolling around the floor screaming, not letting us touch her. The way she moved I could tell it was her tummy. I'm definitely thinking milk may be in the running as the cause. Looks like I'll be calling the doctor's office Monday morning. After getting her calmed down, we drank some apple juice and off she went again. So she's back in bed....for now. Which is where I should head since it might be another hour when I get a wake up call.

Any and all comments are welcome.

Loud, Noisy Trucks

Dakota has started this new daily ritual that we have to walk to the mailbox. It's become kind of fun watching her run down the sidewalk, and try and balance on the curb. Yesterday I think it took us 15 minutes to walk 10 houses, each house had something different to stop and look at or try and do (like banging on a for sale sign with a rock). This morning there were more trucks and buses out than there are in the evenings when we usually take our walks. And God used the moment as a lesson.

Everytime Dakota hear a loud truck or one drove past, she would immediately turn to me and grab my hand. If she was ahead of me, she would run back. She needed reassurance that the loud noise wasn't going to get her and she would be all right. And I was there. Everytime.

I've got lots of "loud, noisy trucks" in my life right now. What a great opportunity He used to remind me that He is there for me too. Everytime. And He will reassure me that all will be well. He's there for me to turn to all the time, no matter when a "truck" drives by. I might be scared by the noise....but He will hold my hand and walk with me.

Thank you Lord, for reminding me that as I watch over Dakota, you watch over me. I am never alone and you faithfully will be by my side. Please continue to hold my hand as our family works toward a new life together. Keep us together in Your arms as we search for understanding on how to move forward with so many new changes. Thank you for the support You give us and for that which you give us through friends. Amen.

Hitting the Wall

I've got so much running around in my brain....I'm not sure I can come up with coherent thoughts. Excuse my ramblings......I just need to get a few things out.

Like many people, we've been having a hard time financially. We've finally hit the wall and don't have too many options. Big changes are going to have to be made - credit cards are being shredded and the poop guy is outta here. But it's a lot more than that. The way we're used to living, the way we've made decisions, the way we've thought about and spent money....all has to drastically change.

I'm thankful that we're all healthy and our house and cars are staying in place. I know it could be much much worse. But my reality is being forced to be changed and I'm scared. In the end, I know this will result in a positive. Tony and I are being forced to work together. We're having to be open and honest with each other. And we're having to re-examine our priorities. (Is it really important to have the shampoo you've been using for 20 years, or can you use one of the 5 bottles that is already purchased?) I have faith that everything will end up ok and God will get us through.....and maybe there will be an opportunity for Tony to find more faith.

I try to keep a smile on my face, but my patience is not there right now. Especially at home. I'm quick to get frustrated and easily irritated. I know this is taxing on everyone.....but life still moves on. There's still babies to feed, trash to take out, things to do. I'd love nothing more than to have a few hours to do nothing but hide in bed.....but I don't see that happening for another 15 years.

Please pray for us. That finances get resolved, that we work together and support each other, that Dakota's "two-ish-ness" doesn't push me over the mommy edge, that God takes us where we are supposed to be.

It's a Love Fest!

My dear friend Karen over at Surviving Motherhood gave me the nicest blog award this week. I'm displaying it proudly. Thanks friend!

Karen is also getting ready to release her new book "Finding Joy: More Confessions of an Irritable Mother." Click here to find out how you can win your own copy. Karen and her words have been an inspiration to me daily. Anyone who reads her blogs and/or books has an extra angel on their side.

Ok, so back to the award.....I'm supposed to pass it on......so here goes.

Emily at According to Em - A wonderful preschool teacher who has become a dear friend. I know God brought us together so we would have each other to lean on and encourage.

Nana Reese at House of Whimsy - Ok, so she happens to be Emily's mom. But she's one of the best Nana's in the world! And her blog is so fun to look at if you like to be creative.

Now, for you recipients of this award, here's the deal:

• Display your award.
• Link back to the person who gave you the award.
• Nominate other blogs.
• Put links to those blogs on yours.
• Leave a message on the blogs of the people you've nominated.
• Enjoy your award!
  

Have a good day girls. God will get us through day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

Witnessing to Frito

Considering where my brain has been at lately, this holiday weekend was fun. I got to go out with my friend. I got to play with my baby. And we went out to the park for an outing as a family.

One of the moments that brought a smile to my face today was when Dakota started witnessing to the dog. Frito never knew what hit him. Dakota found one of those little Bibles that only has the New Testament and some Psalms in it. She brought it to me and I told her it was a special book and she had to be very soft with it. After flipping through the pages carefully she decided to share the good book with Frito.

Frito is right at eye level for Dakota when he lies on the couch. She walked up to him, book in hand and started reading to him. I was smiling on the outside and rolling with laughter on the inside. She would read to Frito, turn a page and read some more, all with the book touching Frito's nose.

Something distracted her and the Book was put aside for a while. Later in the evening she brought it to me, sat in my lap and said "read". Where was I to start? Something short that might keep her attention for 30 seconds. They had the Lord's Prayer on one page, so we said that. That seemed to satisfy her.

The Book now lives in the book bucket with the rest. I'm sure it will get pulled out again. Watch out Frito, she's not done with you yet!