God is Great!

I don't have much time right now but wanted to post a few things I'm oh so thankful to God for.....

• making Dakota feel better after being sick the first time
• putting Mary in our lives to take care of Dakota (and us too!)
• my Mom for teaching me how to communicate and care for older people
• helping me hold my tongue rather than make matters worse
• placing me in the right job with the right people at the perfect time
• God being there for me always so that I'm never alone
• the strength to do whatever I need to do each day to get through it
• my husband for making sure we're always safe and secure
• God reaching out to me and bringing me in closer when He knew it was right

He gets me through each and every day. Whenever I feel uncertain or doubtful I turn to Him knowing He is ready to listen at a moments notice. Thank You Lord for all Your Love!

Jesus In, Jesus Out

Remember the saying "You are what you eat?" I've got a new one with the same idea - "Jesus In, Jesus Out". I've been trying to make a conscious effort to focus on God more in everyday life. For a while K-LOVE has been the only radio station I listen to, but there are lots of other areas awaiting improvement. Dakota and I take walks on the weekend and whenever I'm home in the morning. I have a specific point in our walk (where the sidewalk turns flat) where I talk to God. I give thanks as well as put in my special requests.

The biggest area I've noticed change in has been my reading material. The last two or three months I've started reading again. Usually about a book or so a week. I had some books by Christian authors I hadn't read and really enjoyed them. Then I picked up a trashy romance novel or two and zoomed through those. They were fun, but didn't get much out of them. Then I picked up a few more Christian fiction books and wow, have I noticed their impact! The positive characters full of faith and love that these authors create are so much more meaningful than any Danielle Steele novel (and who hasn't read those?). Some of the discussions they have with God make it seem like the author knew what I was thinking.

Regardless, I know this is another way God is reaching to me. I've been able to be more patient with Tony and Dakota lately. A little less irritable.....or maybe I'm just getting better at focusing on the important stuff. I'm ashamed to say that I don't read the Bible as often as I should. But I honestly feel like that's what is coming next. God is preparing me for something. Thankfully He's doing it one step at a time. I already know His timing is perfect, so I just have to follow His lead wherever it takes me. For now, I'm enjoying seeing what comes next.

Getting In the Groove

Alright, I think we're getting this new schedule thing down! (Now that I've said that something is destined to come up!) Tony is stepping up a bit more picking up Dakota from daycare and even feeding her dinner. We've got Dakota down to nursing just first thing in the morning and taking a bottle to go to bed. I'm figuring out which things are easier to take care of the night before. Things like Dakota's clothes for the next day, figuring out what's for dinner, collecting anything I have to take to work with me.

Dakota is doing so well at daycare....which makes it a little easier to breathe. She's learning what music is...she now dances anytime she hears music...and sometime the music is just in her head and she dances anyway. She rolls around on the floor more playing without getting fussy as fast. We are so blessed to have Mary in our lives!

Although difficult, I think going back to work has been really good for me too. I miss my baby and talk about her all the time. But I can't tell you how much more valuable each minute that I spend with her is. It shouldn't be, but it's different now. I actually wanted Tony to stay home Sunday morning so I could take Dakota to Babies R Us all by myself!

Tony started teaching summer school today, but his schedule shouldn't change ours too much. This is starting to work out......this whole family-schedule-work-no rest thing. And I'm liking it!

Settling In

Well, it's our second week of Mommy working and everyone is surviving so far. It's going to take us a few weeks to get used to new schedules and figure out what we're really doing. My guilt is starting to creep in a bit when I think about the fact that Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays Mary sees Dakota more than I do. So I try not to think about it. And yet I seem to actually have more patience with Dakota now that I'm away working. I know someplace in there it makes sense. And yes, I have another dose of guilt knowing that I'll also be taking her to daycare for a few hours on Thursdays, my day off. But I need time too! Right?

The job is going great. I'm enjoying the work and the people very much. Which is a huge relief that I don't have to stress about that part of life right now. My fixation now is getting myself, my husband, and Dakota used to a new schedule. And next week Tony starts teaching summer school for a month. And the week after that my mother-in-law comes to stay with us for THREE weeks. Arg, it's a bit overwhelming! I need to suddenly let go of some of the smaller things that in the grand scheme of things don't make that much of a difference. (What do you mean it was trash day and you didn't empty all the trashcans before you took the trash out?!) Breathe....Jesus loves me, this I know.........

All In A Day's Work

Boy am I tired! After nine and a half months, I started back to work yesterday. It's a good tired. I think God definitely put me in the right spot for what I need. The people are wonderful, patient, and very helpful. The work is busy, but without a lot of stress (at least for now). Of course that doesn't mean there's no stress completely...................

Ten minutes after I got to my new job on Wednesday, my phone rang. It was day care...Dakota was sick with a fever. Yikes! She had a fever the day before but we chalked it up to teething. So a flurry of phone calls coordinated Daddy going to pick her up, giving Daddy a schedule to work with and setting a doctor's appointment. The office manager instantly offered to let me go for the day, but I couldn't do that on my first day! So I told her it would do Daddy good to take care of Dakota and we'd be fine. Of course that didn't stop me from constantly thinking and worrying about the situation. So I finally asked if I could just leave after lunch and she thought that was a grand idea. Family friendly! Yes, I am blessed!

So I met everyone at the doctor. No ear infection as initially thought, just a stuffy cold. Ok, we can deal with that! But the fever meant another day at home with Daddy. Uh oh. This was going to take some smooth talking. We got Daddy calmed down with a feeding schedule, lots of reassurance, and a quick trip to the casino to relieve some stress.

Daddy did great! And Dakota did too. I knew they would. But Tony had to find out for himself that he could do it. Maybe there was a plot somewhere in Dakota's getting sick. Anyhoo, they ran errands, went to McDonalds, took a walk, played and napped. I came home to lots of smiles. Tony said it was the longest day of his life. (Now he understands why we go shopping everyday!)

Everyone worked really hard and everyone survived. I feel slightly guilty for enjoying going back to work. But I feel very fortunte that no matter who Dakota is with - me, Daddy or at daycare with Mary - she is truly safe and happy. Next week starts my full schedule. I'm at 30 hours so that means Thursdays off and Tuesdays half days. More work next week figuiring out how dinner, bedtime, and everyday things like grocery shopping are going to get scheduled. But that's just the details. For once all the big stuff is in order. All in a Day's Work.

Am I missing the boat?

I've been praying so hard lately for the right job to find me. Not just a job that is right for me, but also for Dakota and our family. Suddenly there were so many more things to take into consideration. What time would I have to get up to get Dakota and myself fed and ready to go? How long would I be without her each day? Are they going to throw a fit if there's a dr. appt or day without daycare? All these new factors were tiring within themselves. But I went on a few interviews and kept sending out resumes knowing that something would stick.

I prayed and I prayed that God bring the right job to me. I knew in His time everything would work out and I was ready to take whatever time it took to find the right situation. But then I got a call back from a dentist office wanting a working interview. And my heart sank....my indicator that it really wasn't what I wanted. But it's not just me I'm looking out for now, so I agreed to it. The call I really wanted was from the eye doctor's office. They were so nice at the interview, admitted to being family friendly and were willing to let me start part time and work up to full time. I agonized over and over the dentist office in my head. I finally called and canceled my daylong interview. I knew in the end that if I wasn't going to be happy myself, then chances are it wasn't going to work out for them or Dakota either. But was I turning down an opportunity that God had placed in front of me?

And then it happened....the eye doctor called back! Yea! I actually start next week. They're working on the schedule, but it sounds like I will be working 4 days a week. I have this feeling in my heart that this is where I'm supposed to be. Never mind that it's 40 minutes away, doesn't offer health insurance, and I'm taking yet another pay cut. Ok.....how sure do I feel about this again? But I prayed right? Yep, but how do I know I'm hearing God's answer?

Just to confuse things more, the day after I accepted the position, another place called wanting an interview. A place that is a half mile from my house. A position that probably offers health insurance, my own office, and a chance to actually use my degree. Arg! Did I miss it? Did I misread God's opportunity for choosing what I wanted? I kept going back to the joke that the little boy told in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness". The jist of it is that a man who is drowning waves two rescue boats on by because he says God will save him. The man drowns and asks God in Heaven why He didn't save him? "I sent two boats," God replies.

I so want to do the right thing by choosing the right job. I'm scared to go back to work for various reasons. I've gone round and round with myself, with God, trying to figure it out. Am I missing the boat? How do we know which signs are for us? For know I'll continue to pray that I'm going the direction that God wants me to take. That will most help my family. Because suddenly it's not about health insurance and offices anymore.

The Carseat is Empty!

I spent three hours at the mall yesterday with my friend Lauren -- three hours! And all without a stroller. Dakota was at daycare for most of the day. It's weird after all this time to keep looking in the rearview mirror and thinking I forgot the baby because she's not there. Or thinking that she's sleeping because it's so quiet. So instead of feeling foolish for talking to myself (Dakota is my main source of conversation), I called others while I drove to keep busy.

Lauren and I had a leisurely lunch......what, I don't have to scarf my food down just in case someone starts to get fussy?! Then we walked around the mall, browsing, buying and returning. I had to carry my own bags though, couldn't put them in the stroller. And I couldn't keep a drink handy in the stroller's cupholder. Of course I also had use of both of my hands for the entire afternoon!

So while it's nice to have some time to myself for a change, it's also taking some getting used to. I think it's a good lesson in striving to enjoy the moment I'm in. Enjoy the time I'm with Dakota, because she's cute and fun and I miss her when I'm not with her. And then enjoy the free mommy time because she's cute and fun and I miss her when I'm not with her.

Ok, I have to run a few more errands and go fill the carseat!