Monday, July 16, 2007

The Center of a Blur

This is the first week in almost a year that I'm working outside the home for a full week. That's right - 5 days in a row. Basically from 8 to 5:00 every day, some days earlier, some days later. I'm already a little nervous (ok maybe more than a little) after finishing day one. Things were going great at work and then the phone call came.........Mary had an accident and thought she might have broken her jaw or gotten a concussion. Could Tony please pick Dakota up? Let the Daddy Duty begin! :) Tony only has two more weeks before he goes back to school, so I'm very thankful that he was around to go pick her up. Mary's doing ok, but we haven't heard whether day care is open for business tomorrow or not.

The afternoon was a blur at work we were so busy and short staffed. I got home to a screaming child who wouldn't eat for Daddy and a husband who was ready to run out the door. I pleaded for two minutes to use the bathroom and then took over dinner duty. And five minutes later Tony was out the door to "de-stress". Dakota's really teething today so her teeth didn't want to let her took a lot longer to get her to sleep tonight.

And we get to do this all over again tomorrow??? As a wise friend said, "tomorrow is a new day". He grants us that every minute, every day. Every minute is full of new possibilities. Just because today was like a zoo doesn't mean tomorrow will be. But in the middle of it all, peaceful or not, He's there with me. I don't want to forget to look up every once in a while to remind myself. It gets so crazy that the focus is on the crazy and not the true focus. Lord, help keep me centered by keeping you at my center!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Accept and Appreciate

I've wanted to write for so many weeks and now that I have the chance my mind just went blank. My mother in law has been with us for almost three weeks now. As if keeping an 11 month old entertained wasn't enough! In the past I've often had a challenging relationship with her. My husband was a true momma's boy. Notice I say was? :) It was amazing to see Tony's center of life change once Dakota came along. Suddenly his family was first and foremost in everything.

Anyhoo, I prayed for weeks before she arrived, and since, for help in accepting and appreciating her. That's been my main desire. I don't think we'll ever have a warm fuzzy relationship like I see others have - and I've come to accept that that's ok. It used to be that whenever she came for a visit I would end up in tears numerous times. She doesn't realize it, but she's a very demanding person. Another factor is that she also acts about 80 even though she's only 62 due to some medical issues she had right after I met Tony. So I feel guilty whenever I get frustrated with her.

God's been by my side -- I've only been in tears once and she's only here for two more days. And our once a week outings where it was just the two of us were actually enjoyable. I know that it is only through Him that I have been able to get through these last three weeks and not have a heavy burden on my shoulders. I've been able to sit back, do what I need to do, and let her do whatever she needs to do. I still have guilt issues "Are you sure you don't want me to pay for Molly Maids?" or "I could've made a wig from all the dog hair I got when I dusted the end table." but I've been able to feel it, and then move on. In the past I felt it, hung on to it, and let the next one pile on top of it.

And I definitely have appreciated her this trip. Neither Tony or I have hardly cooked in the last three weeks. The dishes are always done. We didn't pay for groceries for two weeks. She's good with Dakota and wants to do anything and everything to help her. Sometimes her good intentions aren't the most helpful, but she always means well. I have to come up with a creative way to let her know that I really did appreciate all her help while she was here.

So in a few days I will have easier access to the computer and get reconnected to the world a bit more. Although by having her here staying in the guest room where the computer is actually made me spend more time with God. Now that can't be anything but a good thing!