Monday, September 17, 2007

Rambling Wishes

Whew! It's been quite the time lately. The last two months have passed by quickly and with many emotions. What else is new? It feels like I have less and less time and more and more to do. Dakota's teething, walking, and in the middle of everything. In other words, I spend more time now worrying that I'm being a good mom and that my little girl is learning to be "good", whatever that means. Dakota demands so much attention that I tend to ignore everything else. I get up when she does, and I go to bed right after she does. It's purely survival tactics. I don't even usually get out of my work clothes until after I eat dinner and she goes to bed. Good thing scrubs are comfy!

I'm happy with so much and yet there's so much more I want to work on. God has stayed by my side the last two months, even though the time I have spent with Him has lessened. Noticing my stress and frustration level increasing, I've made the conscious effort to spend more time with Him through music, reading and prayer. It never feels like enough. I wish I had more time to study the Bible..........I wish I had more time to learn......I wish I had more time to build stronger connections with people that God has recently placed in my life (more on that later)......I wish........I wish........I wish......I wish I felt ok with being the person I am right at this very moment. I am so thankful that God is always there and loving me each and every moment. I pray that He lead me not only in my actions, but in my thoughts. HE gets me through each day.....HE is the shining light in my baby's eyes......HE is the only one.