Thursday, May 31, 2007

All In A Day's Work

Boy am I tired! After nine and a half months, I started back to work yesterday. It's a good tired. I think God definitely put me in the right spot for what I need. The people are wonderful, patient, and very helpful. The work is busy, but without a lot of stress (at least for now). Of course that doesn't mean there's no stress completely...................

Ten minutes after I got to my new job on Wednesday, my phone rang. It was day care...Dakota was sick with a fever. Yikes! She had a fever the day before but we chalked it up to teething. So a flurry of phone calls coordinated Daddy going to pick her up, giving Daddy a schedule to work with and setting a doctor's appointment. The office manager instantly offered to let me go for the day, but I couldn't do that on my first day! So I told her it would do Daddy good to take care of Dakota and we'd be fine. Of course that didn't stop me from constantly thinking and worrying about the situation. So I finally asked if I could just leave after lunch and she thought that was a grand idea. Family friendly! Yes, I am blessed!

So I met everyone at the doctor. No ear infection as initially thought, just a stuffy cold. Ok, we can deal with that! But the fever meant another day at home with Daddy. Uh oh. This was going to take some smooth talking. We got Daddy calmed down with a feeding schedule, lots of reassurance, and a quick trip to the casino to relieve some stress.

Daddy did great! And Dakota did too. I knew they would. But Tony had to find out for himself that he could do it. Maybe there was a plot somewhere in Dakota's getting sick. Anyhoo, they ran errands, went to McDonalds, took a walk, played and napped. I came home to lots of smiles. Tony said it was the longest day of his life. (Now he understands why we go shopping everyday!)

Everyone worked really hard and everyone survived. I feel slightly guilty for enjoying going back to work. But I feel very fortunte that no matter who Dakota is with - me, Daddy or at daycare with Mary - she is truly safe and happy. Next week starts my full schedule. I'm at 30 hours so that means Thursdays off and Tuesdays half days. More work next week figuiring out how dinner, bedtime, and everyday things like grocery shopping are going to get scheduled. But that's just the details. For once all the big stuff is in order. All in a Day's Work.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Am I missing the boat?

I've been praying so hard lately for the right job to find me. Not just a job that is right for me, but also for Dakota and our family. Suddenly there were so many more things to take into consideration. What time would I have to get up to get Dakota and myself fed and ready to go? How long would I be without her each day? Are they going to throw a fit if there's a dr. appt or day without daycare? All these new factors were tiring within themselves. But I went on a few interviews and kept sending out resumes knowing that something would stick.

I prayed and I prayed that God bring the right job to me. I knew in His time everything would work out and I was ready to take whatever time it took to find the right situation. But then I got a call back from a dentist office wanting a working interview. And my heart indicator that it really wasn't what I wanted. But it's not just me I'm looking out for now, so I agreed to it. The call I really wanted was from the eye doctor's office. They were so nice at the interview, admitted to being family friendly and were willing to let me start part time and work up to full time. I agonized over and over the dentist office in my head. I finally called and canceled my daylong interview. I knew in the end that if I wasn't going to be happy myself, then chances are it wasn't going to work out for them or Dakota either. But was I turning down an opportunity that God had placed in front of me?

And then it happened....the eye doctor called back! Yea! I actually start next week. They're working on the schedule, but it sounds like I will be working 4 days a week. I have this feeling in my heart that this is where I'm supposed to be. Never mind that it's 40 minutes away, doesn't offer health insurance, and I'm taking yet another pay cut. sure do I feel about this again? But I prayed right? Yep, but how do I know I'm hearing God's answer?

Just to confuse things more, the day after I accepted the position, another place called wanting an interview. A place that is a half mile from my house. A position that probably offers health insurance, my own office, and a chance to actually use my degree. Arg! Did I miss it? Did I misread God's opportunity for choosing what I wanted? I kept going back to the joke that the little boy told in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness". The jist of it is that a man who is drowning waves two rescue boats on by because he says God will save him. The man drowns and asks God in Heaven why He didn't save him? "I sent two boats," God replies.

I so want to do the right thing by choosing the right job. I'm scared to go back to work for various reasons. I've gone round and round with myself, with God, trying to figure it out. Am I missing the boat? How do we know which signs are for us? For know I'll continue to pray that I'm going the direction that God wants me to take. That will most help my family. Because suddenly it's not about health insurance and offices anymore.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Carseat is Empty!

I spent three hours at the mall yesterday with my friend Lauren -- three hours! And all without a stroller. Dakota was at daycare for most of the day. It's weird after all this time to keep looking in the rearview mirror and thinking I forgot the baby because she's not there. Or thinking that she's sleeping because it's so quiet. So instead of feeling foolish for talking to myself (Dakota is my main source of conversation), I called others while I drove to keep busy.

Lauren and I had a leisurely lunch......what, I don't have to scarf my food down just in case someone starts to get fussy?! Then we walked around the mall, browsing, buying and returning. I had to carry my own bags though, couldn't put them in the stroller. And I couldn't keep a drink handy in the stroller's cupholder. Of course I also had use of both of my hands for the entire afternoon!

So while it's nice to have some time to myself for a change, it's also taking some getting used to. I think it's a good lesson in striving to enjoy the moment I'm in. Enjoy the time I'm with Dakota, because she's cute and fun and I miss her when I'm not with her. And then enjoy the free mommy time because she's cute and fun and I miss her when I'm not with her.

Ok, I have to run a few more errands and go fill the carseat!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

It's Daddy's Turn.....Almost

I finally convinced Tony to start sharing in Dakota's bedttime routine with me getting ready to go back to work. Tonight was the first night and it was kind of funny to be the one in the other room overhearing things for a change. It started by my getting out Dakota's pajamas and putting them on the changing table. Then I left. Then I heard a lot of laughing and "Daddy's not very good at this." Apparently Tony thought he would just take Dakota's shirt off like he does his own -- just lifting her arms and trying to pull it off all at once. Ha! Then I heard "Mommy!". Which meant she had pooped. Daddy doesn't change poopy diapers. (Well, he really doesn't change any, but he WON'T change poopy ones unless stranded on an island) So we got that taken care of. I smiled as I watched Tony pick up the pajamas as I left the nursery -- he was turning them up and around trying to figure out which way they went. It took a few rounds of snapping to get it together right and we were on our way!

Dakota has two teeth that we just started brushing, so I told him tonight I would do it so he could see what we do. He laughed when Dakota opened her mouth on her own, ready for our toofies to be brushed. Storytime! Another 5 minutes I can scoot out into the kitchen and clean up. "Mommy! What ones do I read to her?" Well, you read all four that are on the stool and then you let her pick one of those four to read a second time. Ok, so I like to stretch bedtime out and she really can pick one on her own. It's pretty funny to watch. But his response was funny too. "ALL of them?" Yep!

So next time (Tuesday) Daddy will also be brushing teeth and trying a bottle. All of his questions and little goofs reminded me of everything I did with Dakota when we brought her home. Ok, so he's nine months behind......but I can't tell you how monumental it is to get this far. He told me today that he's still scared at the thought of taking care of her by himself. Which that admission in a calm voice is also pretty impressive for him. I realized after my mom left to go back to Michigan when Dakota was three weeks old, I had to figure things out on my own. There was no one to teach me. But I could do something better for Tony. I could help him learn how to take care of our daughter. The trick is to not let him know I'm doing it.