Friday, May 25, 2007

Am I missing the boat?

I've been praying so hard lately for the right job to find me. Not just a job that is right for me, but also for Dakota and our family. Suddenly there were so many more things to take into consideration. What time would I have to get up to get Dakota and myself fed and ready to go? How long would I be without her each day? Are they going to throw a fit if there's a dr. appt or day without daycare? All these new factors were tiring within themselves. But I went on a few interviews and kept sending out resumes knowing that something would stick.

I prayed and I prayed that God bring the right job to me. I knew in His time everything would work out and I was ready to take whatever time it took to find the right situation. But then I got a call back from a dentist office wanting a working interview. And my heart sank....my indicator that it really wasn't what I wanted. But it's not just me I'm looking out for now, so I agreed to it. The call I really wanted was from the eye doctor's office. They were so nice at the interview, admitted to being family friendly and were willing to let me start part time and work up to full time. I agonized over and over the dentist office in my head. I finally called and canceled my daylong interview. I knew in the end that if I wasn't going to be happy myself, then chances are it wasn't going to work out for them or Dakota either. But was I turning down an opportunity that God had placed in front of me?

And then it happened....the eye doctor called back! Yea! I actually start next week. They're working on the schedule, but it sounds like I will be working 4 days a week. I have this feeling in my heart that this is where I'm supposed to be. Never mind that it's 40 minutes away, doesn't offer health insurance, and I'm taking yet another pay cut. Ok.....how sure do I feel about this again? But I prayed right? Yep, but how do I know I'm hearing God's answer?

Just to confuse things more, the day after I accepted the position, another place called wanting an interview. A place that is a half mile from my house. A position that probably offers health insurance, my own office, and a chance to actually use my degree. Arg! Did I miss it? Did I misread God's opportunity for choosing what I wanted? I kept going back to the joke that the little boy told in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness". The jist of it is that a man who is drowning waves two rescue boats on by because he says God will save him. The man drowns and asks God in Heaven why He didn't save him? "I sent two boats," God replies.

I so want to do the right thing by choosing the right job. I'm scared to go back to work for various reasons. I've gone round and round with myself, with God, trying to figure it out. Am I missing the boat? How do we know which signs are for us? For know I'll continue to pray that I'm going the direction that God wants me to take. That will most help my family. Because suddenly it's not about health insurance and offices anymore.

1 comment:

Karen Hossink said...

Oh, such questions!
How DO we know we're hearing God's voice?
How DO we know which signs are for us?
"Was I turning down an opportunity that God had placed in front of me?"
Perhaps you were. But how about considering this idea: If you have been praying for God to lead you to the "right" job, do you think it's possible He might place a few options before you - all of which are equally OK with Him - and that He would allow you to choose from them?
This may be stretching it a bit but - even in that joke, either one of the boats would've worked!
Congrats on the new job! :)