Redefining Family

The word "family" was redefined for me yesterday by my co-workers. I have worked at an optomitrists office for a year now. The birthday celebration that these dear people gave me made me feel like the most special person in the world. Gifts and cards. Then sweet Spencer, who is 19 and will make someone an excellent husband someday, came in on his day off to play "Happy Birthday" on his violin. They went together and got me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. They took me to lunch.

Remember the oscar acceptance speech by Sally Field? "You like me, you really like me!" That's exactly how I felt. These people "get" me. They appreciate, love, and care for me. They are mormon, catholic, and christian. They are people I spend more time with during the week than I do with my husband and child. They range in age from 19-62.

I am so blessed and thankful to be a part of this family. I feel closer to some of them than I do my own relatives and friends my age. I know God put me in the middle of these people for a reason. I am able to completely be me with I am with them. Right now I can never imagine leaving them. But if I do, for whatever reason, I know that I will always be a part of that family. For now, I focus on being thankful and enjoying every minute.

What Matters

I look at her and nothing else in the world matters. It doesn't matter that my backyard has weeds over three feet tall. It doesn't matter that the dog desperately needs to be groomed. It doesn't matter that the vaccum cleaner broke. It doesn't matter than my windshield has a crack in it two feet long.

All that matters is that smile. And the hugs and kisses. My energy and focus is right where it should be. She's not even two and she can count to ten. She gets excited about macaroni and cheese to the point of squeals. She kisses her daddy goodnight five times before she goes to bed. She hugs the dog like he's her best friend.

It's hard to not have enough time or energy to keep "things" up around the house. Looking at the house, I could feel like a complete failure. Looking at what's important, looking at her, I know I am doing something right.

Taking Control Means Giving It Up?

I feel like I'm getting ready to take back control of my life. There's many areas - physically and mentally - that I've recognized as needing work. And I've come to the conclusion that I just have to do it! Whatever "it" is at the moment. So amongst my thoughts on my 45 minute drive home today.....I start thinking how I can take control again. How God might be a part of that.

Then it hit me.....do I have to take back control, or GIVE UP control to Him? I think there's probably a happy medium in there where God will walk with me hand in hand. But I have to go to Him with open arms, like His are always open. And I have to listen for His wisdom as I figure out what to do day to day. And I have to be thankful and use the skills that He has given only me. So I guess there's a few things I need to do too.

All I know is it's time to do something. And with Him it will never be alone.