Dakota found my Junior Asparagus Veggie Tales stuffed toy this week. When you squeeze it, his eyes light up and he sings the chorus from "God is Bigger than the Boogeyman". She thinks it's fun....I think it's a reminder that has good timing.
There's been a few "boogeys" lurking out there this week. Mostly in my head. But they had planted themselves firmly in my brain to change my outlook on reality for a few days. First it starts with me and how I go about dealing with "boogeys"....then it spreads to being able to deal with a whiney two year old and a not-so-motivated husband. The standard snowball effect.
When it was its worst, God used a friend to hug me. I felt it. And from that point it started getting better a little at a time. This whole two year old behavior is new and challenging. Especially when I get home exhausted after working. Many nights I fall asleep sitting or standing while I'm trying to put Dakota to sleep. So my patience isn't always top of the line.
Oddly enough, Tony actually showed me, without knowing it, some ways to handle her today. I tried to ignore it and just have fun. We painted toe nails. We made a fort out of a card table and blanket. She's getting bigger and I'm anxious to play with her.
I need to get my own brain back on track on taking care of myself. It doesn't feel like I have the time for that luxury these days. Food has become the enemy again which means I'm eating more of it and not the good stuff. I don't want to give up, but I don't know how to keep going, if that makes any sense.
I'm so thankful God doesn't give up on me, even when I've given up on myself. That even after I've made bad choices, He's there to help me make it through the next crossroads. I try and look for the moments of light that he provides to remind me that all will be ok. Gracie was telling Dakota goodbye this week in the car while I was talking to Emily.....she yells out, "Penny, your car is messy just like mine!" Emily and I looked at each other and just burst out laughing. Gracie is always ready to provide a moment of light, even when it feels really dark.
I pray for time, space, peace of mind and wisdom to take care of myself. If I can get to that point, I think some of the rest will become easier. I guess it's not supposed to be easy.....but it can still be meaningful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I cannot tell you how awful I feel. I wish I had listened when I felt prompted to come over this weekend. I was just so enveloped in my own sorrow and self-pity that I missed an opportunity to share God's love with a friend. Please know that God does love you and tried to get me to show you. I am so sorry, and hope to do better next time. <3
Hi Penny,
I like checking into your blog every now and then just to see cute little photos of Dakato. I love that little face!! As far as the two's go, my heart goes out to you...been there, done that 4 times! However, each and every time, right around 2 1/2 a miracle starts to emerge...they start to taper off and by the time they're three, they are your little angels again. Yep, happened every time. : ) Hang in there. Your faith in God impresses me Penny. That's what got me through our dark days a few years back and it continues to. Ok, on a lighter note...Emily set me up to have a blog site of my own. It's just a silly way to show fun home improvement ideas and little projects. Sara says, "oh my goodness, blogging is just facebook for old ladies." LOL she always cracks me up.
Take care,
Mary Lou (Nana Reece) : ) http://thehouseofwhimsy.blogspot.com/
"God is bigger than the Boogeyman. He's bigger than Godzilla and the monsters on TV. Oh, God is bigger than the Boogeyman, and He's watching over you and me!"
Seriously, I used to walk around singing that chorus. (I know, that probably doesn't surprise you. *grin*) But there's a lot of truth in that little song. These trials and struggles you're facing? God is bigger than they are, and He's watching over you.
Keep holding on to Him, Penny. He is faithful and He will never leave you!
Post a Comment